A peak inside my brain

I have met a variety of people in my life so far. I have heard all about how the things I feel in my head are made up, not real, me seeking attention.. and I have also heard about how what I feel is real and that maybe not everyone understands. To be honest I don't even understand, but I can tell you that what I feel is very real. My mind can make a normal day hell just by twisting everything around. It is like taking a walk everyday but sometimes it rains and you didn't see it coming but you have to keep going. Sometimes you can walk in the rain and it is all okay, but other times it gets really rough with lightning and wind and it is just unbearable, you need to find cover fast and sometimes it all just gets messed up.

I know that all of that may have just made me sound like a nut but that was the best analogy I could think of.

How about this, you are talking to someone and the little voice in your head is all good and helpful but all of a sudden... BOOM! You feel like everything you said was wrong, you messed everything up. You don't know what to do now.. that is my anxiety.

Now on to anxieties best friend, depression. It is like glue holding you into bed when you know you should get up but everything inside of you is screaming not to move. Depression is that feeling that you just want to shut yourself in and away from everyone because it is easier to stay away from everyone.

Think of it this way, you wake up Monday ready to go. You clean, eat a great lunch, and work was great. You go to bed happy and ready for a new day. Then you wake up Tuesday and for some reason you are void of all motivation. Nothing makes you want to get up and get going. Eventually you do and either slap a fake smile on your face and continue the best you can or you avoid doing things. Neither is a solution, and you still have no idea what is making you feel this way.. Nothing went wrong, no one is mad at you, you are doing great. You woke up and hit a wall. It came out of no where and you can't do anything to get around or over it. All you can do is wait it out and hope it goes fast.

I hope this was an alright peak into my brain. I could probably go on for quite awhile about what I think and how it all gets messed up but I am going to leave it at that. Next time someone says they are fine and you know something is wrong, don't pry, just be there for them.