Truth

I'm not okay. I don't care how weak it makes me seem. I'm not fucking okay. I can plaster a smile on my face and make it through the day but its all fake and it sucks. It hurts, it suck, and I just fucking hate every second of it.

Scared

I want to feel wanted, loved, needed.. I want to go to bed at night and know that there is someone who wants to be there when I wake up every morning. I want the kids and the house with the fence and the dog. I want the whole thing.. and my biggest fear is that I won't get that. I'm afraid I may have walked away from that because I wasn't happy.. What if that was as happy as it was supposed to get? I know I wasn't happy but I don't know why and I'm still not happy. I'm afraid I'll never be happy, I'll never find "Mr. Right" and I'll never get a chance to live the life I want.