Words on a page.

Sometimes the past is something you can’t let go of. And sometimes the past is something we’ll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present.

Meredith Grey - Grey's Anatomy

My past is full of baggage, everyone has baggage. Emotions that are carried with us all of the time that just don't go away. Memories that are held onto to get us through and keep us moving and things that can bring tears to your eyes. Sometimes I wonder how to keep the past in the past and how to look forward without all the baggage swallowing me whole. But it always happens every once in awhile, something sparks and a piece of my past all comes rushing back, choking me with emotion until I have no choice but to give in and feel everything that had been locked away. We hide the parts of our past that we don't want to remember, that we wish would just go away or never have happened it the first place and we keep some memories close to our hearts. My memory follows me closely, reminding me of things I try to block out and keeping my mind racing 24/7. But I look forward in my attempt to leave the past in the past, to forget what needs to be forgotten and move on. Although this sometimes doesn't seem possible I keep trying.

I find it impossible to believe when you learn something new about your past that turns everything upside down, changing what you had once thought until a new view on your past has been created. Then you seem to look at everything in a new way it seems like everything was a lie, that part of you is a lie. Walking around day after day with the feeling that you are part of a big lie can run you down and kill you from the inside out.. but you keep moving. You push it aside, get busy, and keep going forward until it just blurs right back into your past.

No matter the baggage you carry with you it really just comes down to what you do with it, I have said before that I push everything in. Although pushing everything in and hiding it may not be the best method of coping with baggage and the past it seems like the best option because when you come down to it, your past will always be there waiting for you to stumble over it again and again.