I have always tried so hard to please everyone around me. Always. Along the way I have lost who I really am and what makes me who I am. I failed out of college. The only thing Ihad always thought I would be able to get through since I was a little kid and now I am out, lost and confused. People say everything happens for a reason, but honestly failing college does not seem to have any benifet. I just feel as if I let down a lot of people, including myself. I have a nice job, and a place to live until I figure out a plane B (of course I didn't have one). But I have been thinking of one. Pretty much just working and figuring it all out as I go. As shakey of a plan as it is it sounds good I have been beyond stressed trying to get through college and now I am stressed cause I didn'y make the grades... So now I guess I can start haveing some fun right? I do not want to come off as irresponsible (flunking out then having "too much" fun) but if I don't relax and have some fun than what is the point of living?? I have been going nut with stress and trying to fit everything in my poorly structured schedual. Now don't get me wrong my schedual still isn't without obsticals but I have a bit more room to breath and have a bit of fun.
This is my sister, Joleen. The best sister I could have asked for. I get to see her this weekend and I am so glad. You know why? Because this is the only person who when I tell her I woun't be going back to college, she won't care. She will still be my mini-me. She won't give me a "you should have tried harder" speech, or look at me like I did something horribly wrong. I love this little girl, she helps me have fun and relax.
Well folks, I'm heading to bed. Night.
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